Why I Started This Journey: The Truth About Loneliness After Forty

Midlife loneliness is realising your Friday night plans are with your favorite mug, and you’re oddly okay with it.

It struck me while I was scrolling through Netflix (other streaming services are available), that I wasn’t looking for entertainment, I was looking for company. I chose a box set without giving it too much thought and while the noise acted as a perfect distraction, it couldn’t replace the sense of connection I was craving. It wasn’t the kind of loneliness I was told about as a child. It was a quiet, sneaky kind that has crept in since turning forty. With the TV on, I found myself staring at a cold cup of tea and wondered why my phone hadn’t pinged in days.

Loneliness after forty isn’t just about being alone. It’s about feeling disconnected in a world that seems to be moving on without you. Friendships fade, priorities evolve, and you’re left wondering where you fit in. That’s why I’m here, pouring my heart into this blog. Because if you’ve ever felt this way, you’re not alone. I’m inviting you to join me on a journey of rediscovery and connection.

How Loneliness Sneaked In

For years, my life felt full with work, friendships, a wonderful marriage, and all the usual demands of adulthood. But then came the quiet. Social invitations slowed down, ok, I said I’d be honest, they have all but stopped. Connections that had always felt effortless began to fade, and my once-busy world became eerily still. I turned forty in 2020, the year of Covid. I had an accident that same year and it certainly had an impact on my life, but as time has moved on, I feel increasingly out of place and invisible. I only have to scroll through the dreaded social media platforms to see friends out living their best lives when I haven’t heard from them in months; it’s not about jealousy, even though it does sting a bit, it’s just another reminder of connections that feel out of reach.

I sometimes find myself scrolling through my phone, hesitating to reach out because it’s always me who messages first after a lull in communication. Even when I’m surrounded by other people, I feel disconnected. I remember one moment that brought it all into focus: it was a rare day off and I took myself out for lunch. I was sitting in my favourite restaurant, the food was incredible, and I told myself it was self-care, but it felt more like a spotlight shining on my solitude. I wasn’t just lonely; I was adrift. Loneliness isn’t always loud or dramatic. Sometimes, it’s these small, quiet moments that weigh most heavily.

That’s when I knew something had to change. Starting this blog was my way of taking that first step. I wanted to stop feeling invisible and create a space where others could feel seen too.

The Reality of Loneliness After Forty

Loneliness after forty is more common than we like to admit. Research shows that loneliness often peaks during midlife. Careers, changing social circles, and evolving priorities can leave women feeling isolated. And let’s not forget the stigma: admitting you’re lonely as an adult can feel like confessing to a failure.

Friendships that once felt effortless suddenly require more energy to maintain. Life happens, relationships change, and the connections that used to anchor us can start to fade. Throw in an unfulfilling job, focusing on personal development or moving to a new area and it’s easy to feel lost and in desperate need of a new reality.

I’ve learned that loneliness isn’t just about being physically alone. It’s about feeling unseen, like your story no longer matters. It’s the subtle moments: walking through a crowded space, seeing other people enjoying time together and feeling disconnected; or realising you haven’t shared a meaningful conversation in weeks. But here’s the truth: loneliness doesn’t have to define this chapter of life. It can be a catalyst for change. When we acknowledge it, we create space to rebuild, new connections, new routines, and maybe even a new sense of self.

Why I Started Tea, Tears, and Triumphs

Tea, Tears, and Triumphs was born out of my desire to turn isolation into inspiration. It was also so that I could I have somewhere to rant every-so-often so brace yourselves for that. This blog is my way of saying, ‘Let’s figure this out together.’ Whether it’s finding humour in the hard days or celebrating small victories, this space is about embracing the messy, beautiful journey of midlife.

Here’s what you can expect:

• Honest Stories: I’ll share my experiences with loneliness, self-discovery, and the little moments that make life meaningful.

• A Supportive Community: This isn’t just a blog; it’s a gathering place. Through posts, comments, and social media, I hope we can create a virtual circle where women over forty feel that they belong.

My hope is that this blog becomes a reminder that no matter how lonely a moment feels, there’s always someone who understands. Together, we’ll sip tea, shed a few tears, and celebrate the triumphs that make it all worthwhile.

Let’s Start the Conversation

Thank you for being here. Whether you stumbled across this page by accident or came searching for connection, I’m so glad you’re reading these words. This is just the beginning of what I hope will be a meaningful journey for all of us.

Join me on Instagram and Facebook to share your story. Let’s keep the conversation going, one cup of tea at a time.

Here’s to the next chapter, together.